amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:
I like how kids can make you feel like a total failure. Wait, not at all.

I went the the skating rink with APO to help out with the Big Brother/Big Sister thing through the YMCA, and there was a certain kid there that my heart went out to- at first. In the beginning, he was just a really foul mouthed thirteen year old. And then he pulled a plastic gun out of his pocket and started pointing it at everyone, even in his own mouth. And at first, Dan and I were just like, "That's not cool at all." And then he wouldn't stop. So I finally pulled him aside and was like, "why do you have a gun? You know that guns kill people. Well, try this on for size. I have leukemia. I have a fifty percent chance of survival. Do you know what that means? (I held up ten fingers) You have this many chances, where as (I took away one hand) I have this many. I could die. Think about that the next time you point that gun at someone." It was just fucking sad.

And now I just feel shitty. I don't know...tired, emotionally spent, the works. I wish I could cry - that would be something. This is like the Neverending story - nothingness. Complete and utter nothingness. I feel like a big fucking void.

I don't know what to do about anything anymore. Am I making the right choices about anything these days? WTF?

But, on the brighter side, Matt just quoted hanson:

you are talking to me... and it is my summer.... and i'm going to be sleeping in a cute girls bed.... and you think i'm going to get out of bed before noon? you are crazy, crazy beautiful,, but still crazy
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.