amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,

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I've tried to update many a time as of late. Perhaps this will be the magic time...

Out of the hospital as of yesterday. Of course I am happy to be out, but something sad keeps nagging at me. Maybe it was just that my mom left after she dropped me off. She's helped me so much through this, been there for me as much as humanly possible, and yet I can't express enough gratitude for her.

Or maybe it is something else that keeps tugging at me. Not quite sure. I can't put my finger on it - all I know is that something beautiful is happenening, and I don't know where I fit in all of it. Does that make any sense at all? Everything around me is happenening so fast and here I am spending a large majority of my time in one place, standing still. I want things to happen, I want so much out of life, and yet I am the one that is holding myself back, because I don't want to get too much involved or I don't want to be let down. And that is happenening in more than one area of my life. I don't know...

Hanson! April 14! PDX! Sooo excited!
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