amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,
amelia
mmmbopthis

  • Mood:
  • Music:
Nothing new yet I update all the same. Silly LJ is my sanctuary.

I met a guy not much older than me (by three years) at the hospital yesterday when I went in for my morning chemo. He had just come back from Hawaii, and needed blood badly. He has the same type of leukemia that I was diagnosed with, yet his case is terminal. The moment all the nurses left, he asked me if I smoked pot. He says it helps. Yeah, but it's just not my thing, you know? This man is seriously near death and all he wants is to smoke a bowl. Okay, so if it deadens the pain, whatever...I just know that there are so many more things I would do in his case than smoke.

It's scary that his and my case are a lot a like and yet different. He didn't take care of his body and his leukemia came back. I talked to my nurse, she said that I have a 50/50 chance of it recurring. I can't believe it.

The frailty of human life has become painstakingly apparent to me over the last few days.

I just can't see that being me, you know? I have so many other things planned. Life holds lots for me. This damn disease won't be the end of me. I will fuck it over royally if it does.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments