amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,

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God, I feel like such an ass. Just in general. Like a freaking...asshat. That's a good word.

or bitch. you know, whatever.

I just feel like the world isn't good enough for me or that the world should revolve around me, and then when I realize what I am thinking (classic "only child" syndrome - I must have developed it late in life, because I didn't do that when I was younger), I feel like the worst person EVER. I hate it when I feel like that. How dare I feel like that? Why the hell should I feel like that, like I deserve anything, when there are people who don't eat for weeks on end or children whose faces have been blown off because of land mines. And then when I pout cuz I can't have a mocha, when I think it is my prerogotive or whatever. I am such a fucking bastard.

I hate myself and how I sometimes feel things I shouldn't. I love my life; why don't I enjoy it then? I love my life, I love the people in it. If I were anyone but myself I think I would hate myself. Some see it as "spitfire" and others see it as "bitch." I hate myself.
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