amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,
amelia
mmmbopthis

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Spinal Tap - NOT the movie.

Day 5 of hospitalization, day 4 of chemo.

I'm down to just two chemos.

When I came into the hospital, I had a mouth full of owies (my gums had overtaken my teeth and I was unable to eat anything solid, I was just down to liquids almost) and I had an owie on my head so bad I was downing codein like it was going out of style.

None of the docs paid attention to either of those, except for Dr. Caton, my doc down in Eugene. The gum thing is why he thought I was out of remission.

So, today, FIVE days after being admitted, some tool of a doctor that I've never met who is supposedly on my "team" (of useless doctors who apparently oversee my cancer regimen) decided I was to have a spinal tap.

ummm, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?

I realize that my only previous experience with spinal taps were in three very remote ways: 1) the movie "This is Spinal Tap," 2) Jodene from marching band has had almost a hundred (no joke), and 3) House, MD, and those spinal taps scare me shitless.

I thought the guy was kind of joking. But then I kind of hemmed and hawwed all day. Then, I finally wisened up and called Dr. Caton.

I told him what they wanted to do- that they think I have CNS Leukemia, found in spinal fluid and to confirm that, I would need a spinal tap - and he told me that the liklihood of having CNS Leukemia with my AML type 2 is extremely rare. I told him that I feel kind of taken advantage of because of the fact that this is a teaching hospital and that they want to use me as a guinea pig.

...he didn't disagree with that part.

He encouraged me to sit down with the docs and make them give me an EXTREMELY good reason why I should have it. Let me point out that if I were to HAVE this kind of leukemia, that there is no regimen that they would use differently than they already are. So all in all, he thinks it's a silly idea to have a spinal tap. I can now eat solid foods again (I'm enjoying eating IMMENSELY) and the pain in my head is all gone.

He also mentioned that if I had any neurological disfunctions at this point, that it would be a good idea to have it. I don't have any.

I think I'm going to refuse the spinal tap tomorrrow.

I'm such a rebel.
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