amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,

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Why? Why do I care so much about people so far away? Grr! Yesterday sucked. I cried and cried and cried. Why, I don't know. I cried for Sterling and Anyssa, the most pure people I have ever met in my entire life (friends of Paul in Montana), and for Sarah, alone at college, for Robert, my friend that died a couple of years ago in a car accident, for the goat on the mountain, for my parents, mr. Allen, jeanne, alone at college in another state, for Christey, because Jason told her she wasn't welcome at the karate school anymore (they are married, and when I worked there, things were so much better. I worked there for three years, and a bunch of parents have voiced to me how different - not for the better- things are now), for all the kids I have inspired to dye their hair, like little meghan, and David's kids, and Jesse and Alex, then, I know this sounds dumb, but for all the world issues...famine, drought...and the whole stupid 9/11 thing, and how airplane pilots are now allowed to carry guns onboard, and that scared me even more... but, mostly for me, because I am scared about college, where are all of my classes? What if my roomie is the biggest pot-head and I never get anything done? What if Paul really does have feelings for me...*wail*oh, Paul! Why couldn't he have been nicer to me? Why did he have to be such a jerk! *sigh* I am leaving so many great people here in coos bay, i don't know if i really want to leave. But, then again, there are sooo many cool people in eugene. I am such a dork. why do I care? I have no idea...and then I cried some more when I put on the leonard cohen cd because we listened to that when it was just me and paul driving through the vast and beautiful open plains of Montana, with Justin asleep in the back, and it was just him and me and the mountains...*sigh*...
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