amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,

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Ode to Nair

Oh Nair how I loath thee...
let me count the little red bumps...

Okay, so that is as far as I got. In an attempt to get less hairy for that awesome swim suit that I have, I bought some nair. Unfortunately, it wasn't my original plan. I planned to go to PC market and buy some natural hair removal wax...(but I bought good tooth paste. So it all works out...) and I ended up in a hurry to get back to work and with a bottle of icky icky nair. Damn you nair!

And now, one of my armpits (yes, only one) hates me and wants to die. Because it would suck to have two armpits on fire, so I only did it on one. And it hurt like a bitch. And then I decided to put some lotion on it. Am I retarded? That hurt EVEN WORSE.

So, then my not-all-there friend Roger decides to Nair his neck, where he doesn't want to shave every day. And he left it on for 15 minutes (1/3 longer than the recommended time). So, by the time that he takes the hideous stuff off his neck, not only are all the little dead hairs coming off of his neck and adam's apple with ease (that was the entire point of nairing his neck), but there are two more side effects; a)he smells of a beauty salon, and b) HIS NECK IS BLEEDING.

Only now do I appreciate the french for their lack of shaving (and even more so the hippies in my wonderful Eugene Orygun for not subjecting themselves to trecherous pains of beauty)...

I apologize, right armpit...
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