amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,

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Well, I have two weeks until I leave for college, and I have to find a way to profess my undying love for Paul in that amount of time. But, is it worth it? I don't know. I don't know if I should just let the whole thing blow over, or if I should tell him how I feel and risk looking like a moron. I just don't know! I mean, I called him yesterday, and he was totally stoked to hang out with me, or at least that I called, but if I talk to him in person, what am I going to say? "do you remember what you said in the van on the way to Montana?" What if he says no? And if he does, then what am I supposed to say? "Did you mean anything you said?" and if he didn't, THEN what do I say? Huh? "Oh, well, I knew you didn't mean it anyway, I just wanted to make sure that you don't have the hots for me or anything"? Yeah, that'll go over like a pregnant pole-vaulter. Hahaha. thanks, Kotsovos.

Saw chance's bitch Stephanie yesterday. she is back in town. that was crazy. I was a Salvation Army with Jessica, and she walked in with the girl, Michelle, that I used to work with that supposedly told Steph that I wanted chance still. Anyway, I guess she is here until December, when she is going back to Alaska. Whch is way dumb, cuz that is the middle of the school year, and she is a sophomore. Whatever. And chance got mad at me once because I had the hots for a guy steph's age, even before we got together, and I had just told him that, and then he gets with her. Fucking asshole. I hope you rot in hell.

On a lighter note, Jessica has a hot date tonight. Hope everything goes well!

Got an email from Justin Elza today (a friend of paul's that I was kind of seeing for a while until he moved to Florida). He told me to call him. that is cool. I don't know if he knows anything about me and paul. The thing was, once when I was hanging out there with paul, justin kind of wanted me, so he led me to believe that Paul was trying to hook up with Samara, when in fact, I think Justin just wanted to hook up with me. So, I figured Paul was the asshole, and I didn't call him anymore, started hanging out with Justin, and then he moved, and Paul started calling me again. And to think, Paul and I could have been hanging out all this time...grr...
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