amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,

I wish Human courting were the same as the rest of the animal kingdom. Instead of girls spending insane amounts of money to get sexy things to make boys notice them, it would go something like this:

* The females wouldn't have to be sexy. In fact, most female versions of a bird are as plain jane as they come. It's the males who are naturally prettier, bigger, bolder, and flashier to get the female's attention, and they actually have to show off to win over le fair maiden's heart.

* The guys are the ones who brawl for the lady's heart. None of this catty-bitch business, a lot of non-human primate males and most big cats (lions, tigers, etc), deer, elk, goats, even some dinosaurs (used to) fight eachother to see who was the one most worthy of le fair maiden's attention. Probably had something to do with survival of the fittest?

* geese (and ducks?) mate for life. None of this half assed wussing out half way through the marriage. These suckers are hardcore when it comes to committment.

* Make love not war! Bonobos, a great ape of Africa, have sex instead of fighting. I think it would solve a lot of things.

* Have you really ever seen ANY species besides Humans wearing the punani skirt or Fuck-Me heels to get noticed? NO. Because other species don't need them to get laid. Are we really that advanced when we need to wear stupid-ass clothing and owie shoes to get noticed? Seriously.

...yeah, and this is all off the top of my head.

Last night was fun because I had an antibody reaction to the platelet transfusion I had and I got hives and they had to put me on oxygen and everything.
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