amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,


I'm going to give myself an ulcer if I sit here thinking about it all just a little bit longer, so without further adieu, I'll let my fangirl out for a little bit.

As some of you may or many not know, I'm addicted to sites like and In fact, when watching a movie, I often IMDB it right then and there for the cast list, composer, directer, etc.

Last night Suz and I watched ABC's Empire. Now, it really wasn't that good, it was like if "Troy" and "Gladiator" had a baby...basically all the good lines from both movies were rehashed within the miniseries. The music sounded reminiscent of Gladiator, although it was a completely new score by some relatively unknown composers.

Despite wanting to replace the main Gladiator (seen in this pic) with Eric Bana in Troy and the whiney Emporer-to-be with Stupid Orlando Bloom, it wasn't that bad. Why? Because of my love for Vincent Reagan who played my beloved Eudoras in "Troy" and I just about pitched a fit when I recognized him as Fearless Leader of the Roman Army, Marc Anthony. *le sigh* He's gorgeous.

AND!! Watching "Kingdom of Heaven" this past weekend (WTF is up with me watching lame Orlando Bloom movies), I noticed three HP actors, and in this Empire thingie, Fiona Shaw (AUNT PETUNIA!!) is in it too. So, overall, even though it's a reconstituted Troydiator, it's not half bad.

Oh yeah, thinking of instigating a weekly "this HP actor is in what film" trivia thing at castlehogwarts simply because I've been noticing all these HP actors in other films recently.

/stalker talk.

And real life has been kicking my ass. I totally didn't realize that last night's thing at Dave's was a going away party for Brandi, and had I not been an idiot I would have realized that. Unfortunately though, I wasn't answering my phone and Dave and Lindsey called me about a hundred times (you two are adorable)...and I'll call one or both of you guys later and talk to you rather than just explaining everything online. But thank you for being wonderful and worried friends.

I've been wavering back and forth, teetering between wanting a life and what's best financially. Part of me just wants to live my life as normally as possible, continuing school and only taking a few terms off for the transplant. Although "few terms" could be a year, and if I really need my parents, I'm gonna need to move back home eventually.

The thing is, is that I always say I can do something and realize that I can't. The two things I'm telling myself right now that I can do are two completely different things. a) I can stay in school and live off financial aid and be a normal 20 something adult (which is stupid for two reasons 1) because I can't live off financial aid, and 2)living with leukemia is the antithesis of living a normal 20-something lifestyle), or b) I can move back home (which, although I would feel better, it would be stupid for three reasons, 1) my parents always have stupid rules for me and always will no matter how old I get, 2) I won't be able to do school because I'm past what SWOCC has to offer, and the biggest one, 3) my health insurance is only good in Lane County and I get better coverage here anyway.) This last one is crucial since I'm dealing with a medical problem, and I don't know what to do about it.

Mom's coming up this weekend (this means no party this weekend) to hang out and talk about it in persona, as I am a mess when I talk to her on the phone and just waste minutes dissolving into tears on the phone getting nothing accomplished.

The shitty part of the potential to move back to The Coos is that I would be letting two very dear friends down and I don't know how to accomodate that. Just bare with me guys as I sort my shit out.

At this point I just don't know what's right and what's necessary and if they coincide. Fuckcicles.

Cute boy in my bio class that has me excited for no reason other than he's cute and smiled at me a bunch today.
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