amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,

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Am I selfish for feeling slighted that I only get roughly 90 years on this planet? That I'll only be able to go through things maybe once or twice at the most? 90 years, 20 of which in the beginning have been spent blissfully ignorant and the last ten probably not knowing where I am, which leaves me 60 years to do that which must be done by me. To love, to learn, to live, to lose...all that has to be done in a certain amount of time. I feel selfish for wanting more time, but there's so much I want to experience, so many places I want to go.

Of course, one could argue that I've been given another chance and that I should feel damn lucky to not have died this past year and oh believe me, I feel good and all...but 60 ish years and a one time only pass on this planet is not nearly enough time for everything I want to do, everything I want to save, everything I want to change, and everything I want to cherish.

By all means, though, I've led an amazing life up to this this point. I've loved, I've been loved, I've conquered cancer and seen my favorite band live. I've skydived and been travelling (although not out of the US...that goal needs some work). I just feel slighted.

Supposed to hang out with mom today, but I'm here at Century 21 (the real estate angency where she works) and we're not painting pottery yet. WTF, mate?

DUDE! Central docks across the street from Century 21 right next to chevron is burning down in flames. Driving from the chiropractor's office to C21 there were, I shit you not, flakes and dust clouding the windshield. It's HUGE. Like, massive. I was afraid Chevron (the gas station) was gonna splode. It hasn't yet, and it's somewhat contained but like, whoa. It's effing huge. It's like a volcano sploding, there's debris EVERYWHERE. I'm sure they'd evac C21 if a gas station blowing up was a threat, so it's somewhat contained, but still. WOW. I wonder if it's foul play. Cuz like, it's a piece of repo property the county has for sale through C21. crazy.

PS: I got darkling_thrush's card yesterday! woot! Oh, and flowra did a phone post (not convinced it was for me, but I was amused nonetheless), along with the lovely deva_chase woot!

PPS: new icons provided by the lovely mirawhisperwind as well as little__one!
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