I just...lately I start things, thinking I can do them, and then I get frustrated. I KNOW I have limitations. That's why I couldn't do marching band. I thought it would be better with Aerobics. Boy, was I dead wrong. Our first dress down day was today. I got a good workout - four about 20 minutes before I thought I was going to die. If that's only the first class, I wouldn't be able to keep up the whole year. I ran out of the room in the middle of the routine. Sometimes I just get so mad sometimes, when I realize that I was near death. I'm a miracle. Let's keep it that way. Just...I hate not being able to run with the big dogs, you know?
And angie just had her biopsy and she's not in remission. God damnit...everyone is different, but I don't know if I could handle it...I know in the back of everyone's mind is the thought, "what if she doesn't make it?" OMG...
Fuck fuck fuck. Don't have financial aide yet = don't have books = don't have any way to do my homework that's due tomorrow. Fucking...today is not my day.
I weeded out my flist. Clogging like you wouldn't believe. If you feel I gave you the boot unjustly, let me know.