Thinking/wondering/hoping/dreaming/fill in the blank. I over analyze way too much.
I was freaking out about school yesterday. It sucked. I think I am going to lose my scholarship. But what if I won't be able to go to school at all come fall? I mean, I know that CG will let me have my job back, but that's only for one term if I don't go to school. Then what? And how the hell am I going to stay in Eugene? I can't move back to CB. That would suck and hinder me and all in all, not be for the highest good. I was so unproductive academically yesterday. But yesterday was just one day, and I know that in the scheme of things everything will work out. I hope. :-/
My friend is in a predictament and I want to help her. She knows how I feel about the situation, and I think it makes it worse. She loves him, it's true. But this guy is a real asshole and he knows that I think he's overbearing. Therefor he thinks I am poisoning her brain. WTF? I can't let her go through with it - I know that she would be unhappy. She called me yesterday almost in tears - she needed someone to talk to. I was happy that she called me of all people, but she is so alone, so scared. I really hope that she kicks his ass to the curb. She has such potential. And yet, here she is...in that brief moment, I thought I knew her better than she knew herself. I hate that I sit on the outside of so many of my friends' bad choices (okay, I am thinking of two specifically) and I see the bigger picture and all I can do is wait and be there when the other foot begins to fall. :-( I love this girl so much, I really hope she makes the right decision. In her case, love just isn't enough. Which is sad.
Well, it's 9:30 and this is my first post of the day. I can't imagine it being the last one. Haha.