amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,

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I'm feeling feelings that I haven't felt in a while. It's a peculiar thing. Like a ghost of a memory. But is it a memory or a dream?

And does the dream not dream the dreamer? There's truth but no logic.

I guess I should explain - I had a dream. Not one that I care to share at the moment. But it has stayed with me through the day and made me think about things that I haven't in a while. Silly Amelia.

And today, being alone, I have thought about things I otherwise wouldn't. It's as if my world has expanded. Or perhaps I am coming to my senses.

I had a brief encounter with doubt last night, and tried to tie up ends that would need tying up in the event of my remission failing me. I wrote a novel of a letter to those I love. And then I did something I now, in hindsight, find rediculously stupid. I just wanted to thank him and ended up being a goober and fucking up things worse when I want nothing more now to thank him for kicking me in the ass to get checked out. I want things over, I just wanted to thank him for having saved my life. I do the english language no justice.
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