amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,
amelia
mmmbopthis

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Day 17. Today was a day of serious contemplation. I thought something was going down, when in fact it is not. And that is a good thing. Well, I kind of confronted it in my usual, confront the smaller problem, and that will at least satisfy me enough that the bigger problem is, in fact, not really a problem at all. At least for now. And it is good that this problem resolved itself before I went all postal and started getting pissed off at cute innocent powerpuff girl instant messages and thinking they were full of negativity. Because this totally could have turned into something like that due to my overactive imagination.

I know that this is all kind of dumb and about a boy and I shouldn't worry about things like that and I am just worried because I am here in the hospital and he is out doing his normal things. I distrust love anymore and therefor I distrust boys in general. Even though love hasn't entered the picture (unless he really *did* tell me that he loved me that one night when he called and all I said because I didn't really hear what he said was "alrighty, see ya later." but I don't think he did which is why I didn't say anything. Looking back on it, it is kind of funny), so I shouldn't worry, right? Right.

And I guess I am so worried of what people will think of me without hair, but you know what? It doesn't really matter, because those who won't hang out with me because I am bald don't really deserve to be my friends. But I still hurt, you know? Stupid 20 year old nonsense. I am in remission. What else is there to worry about?
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