amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,
amelia
mmmbopthis

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I hate all this. Everything. My stupid situation. Can I still be in school if I fail a one credit class? I am just afraid that I am going to flunk out of college because I am used to not studying, therefor next term, when I have more classes, I am going to not want to study as much. It will be better, though, because I will be done with classes by 11:30 on every day except for wednesdays...I need to find a french horn for campus band...

I just feel so down. I hate my period! I hate Damask, I hate my classes, I think Logan and Naima hate me...and Roger is being weird. I don't know how to explain it. He is this weirdo sado-masochistic freak. But in a good way. Is that possible? He bit me yesterday. I have bruise thingie on my leg from him. I hope he didn't tell Danielle about what happened on friday. I bet he did. She is, like, his best friend. I think. I don't know. I just know that they were close in high school and now she lives in Bean, while I live two floors under him, so he hangs out with me a lot. I don't know...that brings me to another thing.

I miss my friends so much. I have noone here. Sure, andrea and jen are here, but we don't hang out. I miss everyone. Naima and Logan have eachother, Roger has a plethera of friends from Tigard, and Ryan and Cody at least know eachother from high school. I have no one. I feel so all alone. No one to help me, noone to turn to. I am so all alone...of course I have friends, they are great. But noone that understands me like sarah, doris, suz, jeanne, kelli, or even sean and matt. Instead I have an armpit attached to a mouth that bites me occasionally.

What if I go through life never getting close to anyone ever again? Not even romantically, I am just afraid in general of being alone for the rest of my life...no one here knows me.

ps...is Oliver Wood in the second movie? Seeing harry potter wouldn't be worth all the effort to actually leave campus if he isn't in it.
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