amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,
amelia
mmmbopthis

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I wrote this to Paul. I wonder if I am going to get a reply. I wrote it, though, with the assumptiont that I won't see him before I leave. Hopefully, that is the case. We'll see.

Well, I was hoping to say this to you in person, or at least on the phone...but, somewhere along the lines, it kinda seems like you don't want to hang out with me. I don't know what it was in Montana that changed what you thought of me...I am not blaming you in the least. So I guess I will just have to say this over email. Maybe it is better this way. You know that I am leaving soon, and I guess this all sounds dumb. Whatever. I don't know...I want to say that I love you, but that is such a strong word...I wouldn't use it lightly. I don't know what you think of me, probably nothing more than "kiddo". That's okay, I understand. I hope the movie store is going well, I know you are busy with that. I understand if you don't want to talk to me or anything. This isn't a guilt trip, I guarantee. I just don't know what you were saying, or thinking, if you were at all, in Montana, on the way up when you said all those things. I really *did* have a good time, though. Thank you for taking me. I had so much fun hanging out with Sterling and Anyssa, camping, and everything... Maybe I am just naive. I don't care anymore. So, in essence, I guess this is goodbye. I am just trying to close things before I leave. Have a good time. You owe me sixty dollars. --amelia

I thought a lot about chance today. I wonder how he is doing.

Called Justin Elza last night, left a message. Wonder if he will call me back. and to think I was almost the mother of his child...not cool...

Painted all day today. It was way tedious. And I am going back tomorrow. Good lord. I am way tired, but I am kinda wondering what Paul is going to reply. If he will at all...
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