amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,
amelia
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My Anthropology 270 Class has always been a source of great amusement for me. In fact, this is basically what the course has been.



Anth 270: Biological Anthropology
Dr. Moreno-Black

GTF's: Nick the Adorable and Nichole who Doesn't Say Much

Week 1: Review of Genetics
(Punnet Squares)
Random Kid: Hey didn't we learn this in 5th grade?
Dr. Moreno: yeah, but here you learn that punnet squares can explain genetics...but not all genetics.
RK: ...
Dr. Moreno: That's anthropology, kid.

Week 2 Some More Genetics
pink, red, or white pea flowers?
RKummm...isn't this biological anthropology? Like...Humans?
Dr. Moreno: oh...yeah. Remember, red + white = pink! ... but we're not quite sure.

Week 3 Intro to Primates
Cute fuzzy monkey babies
RK: What do these things have to do with us?
Nick: I study them! I'm important! *pouts*
Dr. Moreno: We evolved from them. Except we don't swing from trees and have far less hair.
RK ummm...there's still monkeys around today.
Dr. Moreno: Well...we could have evolved from them, but were not quite sure. That's anthropology, kid.

Week 4 Some More Primate Lovin'
The Primate Continuum
RK But...we walk and they don't.
Dr. Moreno: I'm going to confuse you with strange words. The only one that actually exists is "primate", everything else is morenobabble. Oh, and yeah, they "knucklewalk"
Nick I study them! Pick me, pick me! *rolls eyes at ridiculous professor*
Nichole *runs hands through long hair and fastforwards ridiculously fast through powerpoint presentation*

Week 5 Paleoanthropology
The study of dead things...but we're still not quite sure
Dr. Moreno ummm...there's some stuff. How can you date them?
Me Stratigraphy?
Dr. Moreno *goes nuts* Oh, I've taught you so much! You're such a great student! I will never remember your name, but don't hold that against me!
Nick *rolls eyes* worst. boss. ever.

Week 6 Hominid Origins
Mommy, where do we come from?
Dr. Moreno: There's some stuff. And some other stuff. You'll do all this in your lab, but you won't get any time to discuss anything in your lab. This actually has nothing to do with anything and I'm going to jump around so much in the course that you will learn how monkeys evolved into humans, then see some babies being born, get grossed out, and then we'll get back to this whole evolution thing. That we can't prove. But we're still not quite sure.
Class ...

Week 7 Modern Human Biology
and why we are the way that we are
Dr. Moreno Here's an image of a person walking. Notice how it won't help you at all, and notice how I can't remember the right words for anything, at all, ever, but umm...we have some differences from monkeys. See lab.
in lab that week
Nick So, babies are born. I'll demonstrate, even though I'm a male and this is a cabbage patch kid. Don't try this at home. *demonstrates a live birth with a bald cabbage patch kid and a precariously attached pelvis* Eff this man, just watch the video. *turns on live birth footage*

Week 8 Pre Modern Humans
Evolution of the giant family tree
Dr. Moreno So...uh...we evolved.
RK I'm a lot smarter than you and I read this article about how Cave Men were never really in our family tree, so suck it
Dr. Moreno Yeah, that could be the case, but we're not quite sure
another RK I read that what scientists thought were fire pits were actually places where water gathered and we humans are the best and no one could ever master fire before contemporary humans
Dr. Moreno yeah, that could be the case, but we're not quite sure
yet another RK I read that aliens made us evolve and those stupid skeletons are fake
Dr. Moreno yeah, that could be the case, but we're not quite sure
another effing RK What are you sure of?
Dr. Moreno that I have the fashion sense of MC Hammer. See these pants? It's HAMMER TIME.

****


That's been my class for the past 8 weeks.

...

I thought it was funny. Met with Nick today. Yup. Nick the adorable that I totally just parodied above. If you ever read this (God forbid), it was funny and you're adorable. Not as adorable as my Taylor though. He's being all mellow and stretchy - cat like. I <3 it.
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