amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,
amelia
mmmbopthis

  • Mood:
  • Music:

When you're on, I swear you're on.

happy. full. annoyed. sucessful. resourceful. confused. content. loved.

I was reminded again today in an offhand way about how little I've talked about what I've endured this past year.

*looks up* I can't even say it.

Cancer. There, I've said it.

I mean, I really thought that was all I've talked about in this damn blog. I just want to be done with it. Over with it.

In my haste ("show me the meaning of haste, Shadowfax!" <3) to be done with this stupid piece of my life, have I completely blocked it mentally? I've been telling myself for the past year that Leukemia wasn't my life, only a part of my life. Have I seperated myself too much from it? People often wonder if it's a sore spot in my life to talk about. It's not. I'm not sensitive towards it. Or am I? I fucking hate thinking like this. About this. See? There I go.

*snorts* there's certainly been more to this year than leukemia though. Am I trying to convince myself? Others? Or am I just stating the painstakingly obvious?

I wish people who don't have an LJ but read mine would leave me a note so I knew who was reading it. I know there are about three and a half (the half being my dad because he said he wouldn't but did anyway and it fucking pissed me off and I don't know if he still does) people who do. Not that anyone who is ever online can't find it, it *IS* public...I would hate to go to Friends Only just because some people...never mind.

I need a break from LJ.

riiiiight. Like that will happen...
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 18 comments