amelia (mmmbopthis) wrote,
amelia
mmmbopthis

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*le sigh*

getting all emo-y and insecure.. Without even trying. Just...so many good things that I will be leaving in 9 days. I kind of feel emotionally beat up. And insecure. I think it's God's idea of a joke: let's put amelia in a kick ass situation with awesome people and interactions, and then let's put her in a really uncool situation and/or melancholy mood and see how she reacts. I feel like a lab rat. Did I mention insecure?

I sat and talked with some really great people tonight. I could actually talk to someone for their personality and intelligence, not because he happens to be one of those elite 9 primadonna bitches. I had run into rachel and sarah and he happened to be sitting with them.

Totally stressing about everything. I really really don't want to be gone for two months. I don't want things to change. I don't want to come back and have things be different. And what if something...worse...happens? I just want you all to know that I love you lots and nothing will ever change it. You all mean so much to me. Maybe later this week I will do something special. Maybe...*more sighs* if anything should go wrong, you all hold a dear place in my heart. Even the newbies. oh, god, so many thoughts. I know I shouldn't dwell on anything. I just have to keep reminding myself of the awesome life and kick ass friends i have right now. *Think good thoughts, peter!*

PS: This entry makes me feel like a bad person. Maybe I'll delete it in the morning...

PPS: Someone told me that I was "cheeky" and "funny" today. Don't know which entries *they've* been reading. haha...
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